Becky Castle Miller - Latest Comments

Re: Briefly Pregnant

Lisa — Sat, 09 Aug 2014 13:40:37 -0000

I came back to your blog specifically to re-read this post today. My heart now knows this pain. How I wish none of us did.

Re: 3 Ways Myers-Briggs Personality Typing Can Help Your Marriage

Raleigh — Tue, 22 Apr 2014 19:49:01 -0000

I took that $6 test and it was not helpful. It's incredibly vague and oversimplified; I would warn others against purchasing it.

Re: One Word 2013: Ready!

Nichole — Thu, 09 Jan 2014 10:34:51 -0000

Do you have a word this year?
Would you like to help me come up with a word? I've got a goal but I just can't figure out the right word to sum it up.

Also, did we do this before 2009? And do you have your Xanga archive imported to another platform? It doesn't appear as though I can read our sites anymore.

Re: Talking with Your Kids About Work

Becky Castle Miller — Mon, 08 Jul 2013 07:37:20 -0000

Nice to meet you, Marea!

Re: Talking with Your Kids About Work

Marea Smith — Sun, 07 Jul 2013 08:54:51 -0000

I'm the Mama of 3 older children (17, 11, and 7), I enjoy the written word and I'm beginning a somewhat opposite journey. After 17 years teaching public school, I'm beginning my home school journey in just a few short weeks with my two youngest. I'll also have a collection of faith-based leveled readers available in the Spring. I'd love to introduce you to the collection at meandtheestudios.com :)

Re: Talking with Your Kids About Work

monicaflores — Wed, 12 Jun 2013 14:54:43 -0000

Okay. So I just decide to go for it. I sent them my resume. 'll let them tell me they can't afford me. Just spent the last few minutes of my lunch submitting my resume. What could it hurt. I can certainly work for them on a small as needed basis in my current role...

Re: Talking with Your Kids About Work

monicaflores — Wed, 12 Jun 2013 14:23:16 -0000

Thank you! I found them through LinkedIn and am slowly beginning to check into it-- they do seem to be one of the few viable companies out there and while I won't be transitioning immediately I am encouraged by options.

At this point, as the primary breadwinner in our home I won't be making a transition until my husband has become more established in his career and until we are debt free. To be honest pondering the timeframe for this change is probably what has my own work SO tied to finances currently.

We should talk about exactly what you're looking for and see if I can virtually assist you for a set period in exchange for your reference.

Re: Talking with Your Kids About Work

Becky Castle Miller — Wed, 12 Jun 2013 14:12:05 -0000

If you are interested in doing Executive Assistant work virtually, I would highly recommend checking out EA Help. http://www.eahelp.com/ I've been talking with them about hiring an EA, and I am wicked impressed. They seem to pay well, attract professional employees and clients, and be a solid company that pairs EAs and clients very carefully with a lot of support.

Re: Talking with Your Kids About Work

monicaflores — Wed, 12 Jun 2013 14:07:49 -0000

Great article, and definitely something I have been thinking about myself since reading this article: (http://www.parenting.com/bl... earlier this year. As the author puts it, "Some people work to earn a living, and some people are lucky to get paid to do what they love." In your case, and in the case of Sasha Emmons, you are in a position where you get to do what you love. I appreciate your language "we work because we enjoy using our talents" because it resonates with me more than the idea of "doing what I love" (http://blog.penelopetrunk.c....

In my case I work full time outside the home doing something I'm good at, that challenges me and that pays my bills. Do I love it? Not exactly. While it is true that I am satisfied with the sense of accomplishment I get from it, it is also truethat I wouldn't do it if I wasn't being paid to. But this is not what I'll be doing forever either.

And I appreciate that you're talking about having these conversations with our children in the first place, throughout life and various seasons and the evolution of careers. I think equally important to the phrases we use, are the attitudes we model about all work-- from careers to housecleaning.

As a recovering workaholic the value of being more involved with my family and my life outside work (boundaries!) than I am with work is something that has been life changing for me and as my son gets older talking to him about that journey is important to me.

As an aspiring SAHM/ Home-schooler/part-time free-lancer/virtual employee, still workinig to fully identify a path forward, I am open honest with my son about the fact that I don't always want to go to work. With my words and my life I am endeavoring to show him that work can be its own reward, that life has seasons, and that in life some things are necessary (but not innately fun) BUT that in all of these things there can always be contentment.

Re: Talking with Your Kids About Work

Karla — Wed, 12 Jun 2013 13:50:23 -0000

I think it's natural to emphasize the need for work to afford the basics - it's just a fact of life! Because of the profession Phil is in (fireman/crash rescue), we often capitalize on the fact that Daddy likes to help people and take care of them. Even though his family is important to him, other people are important too and he has to make time for them (plenty of ways you can bring God into this, since He's all about people and affecting their lives). Aside from working at two fire stations, Phil is also a self-employed contractor, so he's doing something that he loves and takes pride in. Lots of lessons to learn!

I like what Nichole pointed out - all the things people (mommies especially!) do without pay. Then you have volunteer work, which can be invaluable for learning various things w/o that paycheck.

Re: Talking with Your Kids About Work

Nichole — Wed, 12 Jun 2013 12:29:06 -0000

Good point! Sometimes we tell Elijah he can do/be almost anything when he grows up and Elijah is interested what Micah *does* at work, but when Elijah asks *why* he works, we usually say it's to have money for food, shelter and clothing. It's true that we need to emphasize the value of work itself and the importance of using talents wisely. I guess we could segue into it by telling about how Micah chose his line of profession or telling the kids about the work I do not for pay.

Re: When You’re Uncertain About Life

monicaflores — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 10:17:27 -0000

As ever, I appreciate your heart. Looking forward to the magazine!

Re: When You’re Uncertain About Life

R. Green — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 10:08:38 -0000

Thanks for sharing! Excited to read the magazine!

Re: Becoming A Master Parent – My Post at The Mom Season

Nichole — Fri, 29 Mar 2013 20:55:56 -0000

Boys are not easier than girls in my experience. Apparently, they are when they're older. But Elijah by far has been my biggest challenge since day -256 days.

Re: Becoming A Master Parent – My Post at The Mom Season

Karla Curry — Fri, 29 Mar 2013 20:33:05 -0000

This is so true! I think that's partly why I'm loving Adeline right now... but finding the big kids challenging. Gwen and Josiah are totally different. I've heard boys are easier than girls and I'm waiting for that to happen! Even though I've done three years old before, it's a totally different three years old. *sigh* This is one of the ways I keep things in perspective... I think of my sister-in-law who manages to mother six boys, but realize that her oldest (in his teen years) must be throwing new challenges at her all the time.

Re: How to Build a Part-Time Career While Raising Kids

Becky Castle Miller — Thu, 28 Mar 2013 08:49:49 -0000

What about people who don't know what they want to do? Is spending $80,000 and 4 years meandering around college majors the best way to figure it out? Maybe working their way through a targeted list of jobs or internships to see what they like and don't like would be a better start. Then, if they realize they want to go into a field that absolutely requires a degree, go to college at that point, at the best school for that degree. Dave Ramsey has some good resources for doing college debt-free. A targeted college degree with no debt could be very beneficial.

Re: How to Build a Part-Time Career While Raising Kids

Bekki — Wed, 27 Mar 2013 19:47:26 -0000

I will concede that a person with VERY clear ideas of what they wish their future career to be could realistically build that career on drive and ambition.

Re: How to Build a Part-Time Career While Raising Kids

Becky Castle Miller — Wed, 27 Mar 2013 12:08:15 -0000

I should have made it clear that I think a lot of men should skip college too. :)

I agree that a lot of growing up happens in college, when student are away from home and finding themselves. But I am convinced that we can come up with more cost-effective and practical ways to help young people do that while better preparing them for work.

I enjoyed college, and I'm glad I was able to go without much debt. But I could do the work I do without my college degree. I was already a good enough writer and editor by the time I graduated high school that I could have taken a marketing internship or some online courses and been able to get my first job.

Also, college now is very different from how it was 10 years ago. It costs more, more students are paying with debt, and graduates are not able to find jobs. By the time our kids go to college, it'll be in even worse shape. So I'm looking at the future of higher education and seeing very scary trends and figuring out how to overcome them.

There are some fields that still require college, graduate, and even doctoral degrees, like medicine. (Law and academics, also, but there are very few jobs in those fields, so probably not a good employment direction). And some companies want to see MBAs for certain jobs, which is dumb, because Matthew says the only useful thing he learned in business school was lingo to throw around.

Apprenticeships and internships and entrepreneurship (for those who are gifted that way) are going to become increasingly better ways to prepare for or even create jobs. And for learning specific skills, MOOCs are becoming more common and accepted: http://en.wikipedia.org/wik...

There's so much research I could link to, but here's a start (I got some of these links from Penelope Trunk, a start-up founder and career coach who is really, really good at trend spotting):

Gawker, We Need Fewer College Graduates: http://gawker.com/5979579/

Forbes, No Job Requires A College Degree: http://www.forbes.com/sites...

Women with high student debt less likely to marry: http://www.thegrindstone.co...

Oh, and the Onion. It's satire, but satire is rooted in truth. http://www.theonion.com/art...

Re: How to Build a Part-Time Career While Raising Kids

Bekki — Wed, 27 Mar 2013 09:57:30 -0000

Ok so here is my opinion. This was a great post, however I disagree with your suggestion that a woman should "skip college" so that they have more time to work full time. What work would a women be qualified for without a college degree? Who wants to pursue a part time career as a cashier? When my children graduate from high school they will be encouraged to pursue one on three paths: college, military or an apprenticeship in a skilled trade. Since most women do not dream of being a plumber or an electrician, that leaves less options. It is also my opinion that college is important in the maturing process. Many times women who never attend college seem to remain in a teenaged, high school mindset towards relationships and life. I will now get slammed by wonderful, mature ladies who never attended college. Take note, I said many, not all.

Re: How to Build a Part-Time Career While Raising Kids

Dan — Wed, 27 Mar 2013 09:00:05 -0000

Those orange couches were amazing weren't they?? :-)

Re: 3 Ways Myers-Briggs Personality Typing Can Help Your Marriage

Becky Castle Miller — Mon, 25 Mar 2013 14:16:33 -0000

Myers-Briggs is helpful with parenting as well: http://homeschooling.penelo...

Re: 3 Ways Myers-Briggs Personality Typing Can Help Your Marriage

Angela — Mon, 25 Mar 2013 12:28:15 -0000

What an interesting post! Coincidentally we went on a marriage retreat this past month and personality tests were included, but I think these tests you have posted are probably much more detailed. It really does help to realize that your spouse doesn't see or respond to the world in the same way that you do all the time. Haha, we probably could have avoided some of those arguements, you know, the ones that are like deja vu "haven't we fought about this before?" ;-)

Re: Writing a Book with a Toddler at Home

Sarah Kovac — Sat, 23 Mar 2013 12:01:32 -0000

*Hugs* So glad this was meaningful for you!!

Re: Writing a Book with a Toddler at Home

Amy Jane Helmericks — Fri, 22 Mar 2013 15:43:57 -0000

I read this a week ago, but forgot to comment.

#1 made me cry.
It connected so many dots for me, and I was ready to hug you from there.

Re: Feeding the Hungry and Caring for the Sick (In My Own Home)

Amy Jane Helmericks — Fri, 22 Mar 2013 15:42:29 -0000

I used the in-home Feeding-the-hungry/clothing-the-naked ("Sometimes against their will...") when the guys at church (they don't so much anymore) talk about "going out" to do ministry.

I suppose I was shooting them down in that context, but I think even then I was feeling the fierceness of presenting the Christian ideal as one that I had no way to enter into (with my home duties, for example).

And I still waffle on whether I can agree that "overwhelmingly repetitive chores actually ARE Big Impact activities." Largely b/c that would make my neglect of them dangerous or irresponsible, and I'm to fragile for that kind of psychological burden.

At present I'd rather think of them as small things, and that learning to do small, (eventually) necessary things is part of the stretching growth my INFJ requires to be "fully mature."